GenderDysphoria.fyi/public/tw/impostor-syndrome.md

---
date: "2020-01-26T20:41:55.827Z"
lang: "tw"
title: "冒牌者症候群，跨性別版本"
linkTitle: "冒名頂替症候群"
description: "我真的是跨嗎?"
preBody: '_disclaimer'
siblings:
  prev: /tw/managed-dysphoria
  prevCaption: 應付不安
  next: /tw/am-i-trans
  nextCaption: 我是跨嗎?
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  - gdb
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---

<!-- # Impostor Syndrome -->

# 冒名頂替症候群

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<!-- > [Impostor syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome) (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome, or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud". -->

> [冒名頂替症候群](https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%86%92%E7%9A%84%E8%80%85%E7%97%87%E5%80%99%E7%BE%A4)（英語：impostor syndrome，也稱為冒名頂替現象、冒名頂替主義、騙子症候群或冒名頂替經歷）是一種心理模式，個體會懷疑自己的成就，並持續害怕被揭露為「騙子」。

<!-- Society in general is very good about making trans people doubt themselves. We receive tons and tons of subliminal messages through out our lives saying that being trans isn't normal and that anyone who is has to be exceptionally special. Cis media's obsession with the "born in the wrong body" narrative has led to a lot of false information being internalized by trans youth. Many, *many* trans kids grow up thinking they aren't actually trans because they don't *know* that they are a different gender but simply *wish* they were. Many non-binary children grow up knowing something is wrong, but not believing they're trans because they don't feel like a binary trans person. -->

一般來說，社會非常擅長讓跨性別者懷疑自己。我們一生中會收到成千上萬的潛意識訊息，說身為跨性別者是不正常的，任何跨性別者都必須非常特別。順性別媒體對「生錯身體」敘事的執著導致許多錯誤的資訊被跨性別青少年內化。許多、 *許多* 跨性別孩子在成長過程中認為自己實際上不是跨性別者，因為他們不 *知道* 自己是不同的性別，而只是 *希望* 自己是不同的性別。許多非二元性別的兒童在成長過程中知道某些地方不對勁，但不相信自己是跨性別者，因為他們感覺不像二元跨性別者。

<!-- On top of this, messages saying that trans people hate their bodies or hate their genitalia have polluted the awareness landscape, so that many people who either do not experience physical dysphoria (or simply think theirs isn't very strong) go around believing they aren't "trans enough". -->

除此之外，關於跨性別者憎恨自己的身體或憎恨自己生殖器的訊息污染了認知環境，以至於許多沒有經歷過身體不安（或者只是認為自己的身體不安不是很強烈）的人會認為自己不夠「跨」。

***[是的，你夠跨](https://us.jkp.com/products/yes-you-are-trans-enough)***

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<!-- On top of this, the constant messaging from transphobic media that trans people are not actually their true genders and are simply trying to trick people into believing otherwise gets internalized like a virus. This creates a lot of self doubt about the authenticity of one's gender, especially in the face of so many gender stereotypes. Seeing oneself fail to meet those stereotypes can make it very easy to convince yourself that you do not live up to your own gender (note: cis men and women get this too, far too often). -->

除此之外，來自恐跨媒體的持續訊息，即跨性別者實際上並非他們真正的性別，而只是試圖欺騙人們相信他們是，這些訊息像病毒一樣被內化。這對一個人性別的真實性產生了很多自我懷疑，尤其是在面對如此多的性別刻板印象時。看到自己沒有達到這些刻板印象，很容易說服自己，你沒有達到自己性別的標準（注意：順性別男性和女性也經常遇到這種情況）。

<!-- Furthermore, due to a history of transphobic abuse, many trans people suffer from damaged self-esteems, and often already have difficulty with self-doubt. Gender dysphoria also causes depression, which further contributes to and reinforces those doubts. This all leads into a massive cluster of self-invalidation that can lead someone to struggle over and over again to accept their own gender identity. -->

此外，由於恐跨的虐待歷史，許多跨性別者的自尊心受到損害，並且經常難以自我懷疑。性別不安也會導致抑鬱，這進一步加劇並強化了這些懷疑。所有這些都會導致大量的自我否定，導致一個人一次又一次地難以接受自己的性別認同。

<!-- But here's the thing... only trans people are worried about if they are actually transgender! A cisgender person does not have this obsession with their identity: they think about it, they process it, they move on. If you keep returning to these thoughts over and over again, this is your brain telling you that you took a wrong turn. -->

但問題是……只有跨性別者擔心自己是否真的是跨性別者！順性別者不會執著於自己的身份認同：他們思考它，處理它，然後繼續前進。如果你不斷地回到這些想法，這就是你的大腦在告訴你，你走錯路了。

<!-- The world is *full* of influences put in place to fill us with doubt and keep us from breaking outside of the established social order. These are some of the systems and ideologies that seek to invalidate trans people and keep us from self-actualizing. -->

世界上 *充滿* 了各種影響，讓我們充滿懷疑，阻止我們打破既定的社會秩序。以下是一些試圖否定跨性別者並阻止我們自我實現的制度和意識形態。

<!-- ### Autogynephilia -->

### 自體女性戀物癖 (Autogynephilia)

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<!-- This pattern was strongly reinforced during the late 1980s when the autogynephelia (AGP) theory of Ray Blanchard gained a lot of traction as trans awareness was just starting to escalate. AGP is a pseudo-scientific explanation intended to "explain" the source of trans women's identities using [paraphilias](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilia). Blanchard separated trans women according to if they were attracted to men or to women, while simultaneously invalidating their womanhood. His work completely ignored transgender men, and he dismisses non-binary identities outright. -->

這種模式在 1980 年代後期得到了極大的強化，當時隨著跨性別意識的興起，Ray Blanchard 的自體女性戀物癖 (AGP) 理論獲得了很大的關注。AGP 是一種偽科學的解釋，試圖用[性慾倒錯](https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E6%80%A7%E5%81%8F%E9%9B%A2)來「解釋」跨性別女性身份的來源。Blanchard 根據跨性別女性是否被男性或女性所吸引來區分她們，同時否定她們的女性身份。他的研究完全忽略了跨性別男性，並且完全否定了非二元性別身份。

<!-- Autogynephelia attests that straight trans women are actually just gay men who seek a feminine appearance to draw desire from straight men, and that trans lesbians are actually straight men who have become so obsessed with their desire for women that they wish to become a woman in order to gain sexual gratification from themselves. -->

自體女性戀物癖認為，異性戀跨性別女性實際上只是男同性戀者，她們追求女性化的外表是為了吸引異性戀男性的慾望，而跨性別女同性戀者實際上是異性戀男性，她們對女性的慾望如此痴迷，以至於她們希望變成女性，以便從自身獲得性滿足。


<!-- Blanchard's theory largely hinged on the way that presenting feminine often resulted in sexual arousal within newly transitioning women. You see, most of his study subjects were patients who were trying to seek hormone therapy for the first time, and as such were still very new to presenting female. -->

Blanchard 的理論很大程度上取決於女性化的外表通常會在新轉變的女性身上引起性興奮。你看，他的大多數研究對象都是第一次嘗試尋求激素治療的患者，因此她們對女性化的表現還很陌生。

<!-- Yes, it boggles the mind, but this was actually considered a valid theory of psychology for years. It even appeared in college textbooks. Blanchard's research studies did not meet scientific rigor, and his data was found to be extremely flawed (he manipulated his patients, and simply just threw out any data that didn't fit his hypothesis). A lot of his theories are based in misogynistic views of womanhood, and the man never actually involved any cisgender women in his study to function as a control group. You can read more about how flawed the theory is in Julia Serano's excellent essay [The Case Against Autogynephilia](https://www.juliaserano.com/av/Serano-CaseAgainstAutogynephilia.pdf). -->


是的，這令人難以置信，但這實際上多年來一直被認為是一種有效的心理學理論。它甚至出現在大學教科書中。Blanchard 的研究不符合科學嚴謹性，而且他的數據被發現存在極大的缺陷（他操縱他的病人，並且只是扔掉任何不符合他的假設的數據）。他的許多理論都基於對女性的厭女觀點，而且這個男人從未真正讓任何順性別女性參與他的研究，以作為對照組。你可以在 Julia Serano 的優秀文章[反對自體女性戀物癖的案例](https://www.juliaserano.com/av/Serano-CaseAgainstAutogynephilia.pdf)中閱讀更多關於該理論的缺陷。

<!-- AGP had been thoroughly dismissed by modern psychology by the late 2000s, but the damage has been done. In the public's eye, trans women were all perverted fetishists. Media portrayals of trans women mirrored this attitude, further spreading negative imagery into the public consciousness. -->

到 2000 年代後期，AGP 已被現代心理學徹底否定，但損害已經造成。在大眾眼中，跨性別女性都是變態的戀物癖者。媒體對跨性別女性的描寫反映了這種態度，進一步將負面形象傳播到大眾意識中。

<!-- Transfeminine individuals then internalize these messages, and come to the conclusion that they are not actually transgender — just fetishists. It happened to me, and it's happened to nearly every millennial trans woman I know who figured themselves out as a teen. -->

跨性別女性隨後內化了這些訊息，並得出結論，認為她們實際上並非跨性別者，而只是戀物癖者。這發生在我身上，也發生在我認識的幾乎每個在青少年時期發現自己的千禧一代跨性別女性身上。

<!-- You are not a fetishist. The feeling you get from thinking of yourself as a woman is gender euphoria. -->

你不是戀物癖者。你從把自己想像成女人中得到的感覺是性別欣快感。

<!-- ### Patriarchal Oppression -->

### 父權壓迫 (Patriarchal Oppression)

<!-- A common source of invalidation for AFABs is the conflation of gender with the systemic oppression of women, particularly among non-medically-transitioning non-binary people. The message of "oh you just don't want to be a woman because of how women are treated" is far too often heard, and it can deeply infest your subconscious to the point of self-doubt.  But this doesn't make much sense, because if you're AFAB and not a woman, that makes you transgender, and, on average, society treats transgender folks worse than women. So transitioning to escape systemic oppression is a dumb concept (and I personally have never met a trans person who has done this). -->


對出生時指定性別為女性的人來說，一個常見的否定來源是將性別與對女性的系統性壓迫混為一談，尤其是在非醫療轉變的非二元性別者中。「哦，你只是因為女性的待遇而不想成為女人」這句話太常聽到了，它會深深地感染你的潛意識，以至於你會自我懷疑。但這沒有什麼意義，因為如果你出生時指定性別為女性，但你不是女性，那你就跨性別，而平均而言，社會對待跨性別者的態度比女性更糟。所以轉變以逃避系統性壓迫是一個愚蠢的概念（我個人從未見過這樣做的跨性別者）。

<!-- Radical feminism's messaging of abandoning female gender roles can also make parsing your own feelings harder. "Am I actually non-binary, or am I just a feminist?" "Am I actually a man, or am I just a very butch lesbian?". For this, I encourage you to talk to cis woman feminists, especially lesbians. They'll complain about systems of oppression and the patriarchy, but the problems are all external, and they *want to be women*. Even very butch lesbians want to be women, just in a different way from mainstream femininity. -->

激進女性主義關於放棄女性性別角色的訊息也可能使你更難分析自己的感受。「我真的是非二元性別者，還是只是一個女性主義者？」「我真的是男人，還是只是一個非常男性化的女同性戀者？」為此，我鼓勵你與順性別女性女性主義者，尤其是女同性戀者交談。她們會抱怨壓迫制度和父權制，但問題都是外在的，而且她們 *想成為女人* 。即使是非常男性化的女同性戀者也想成為女人，只是她們的方式與主流女性氣質不同。

<!-- Then you have the problem of people believing that to be non-binary is to be androgynous, and to be androgynous is to be less feminine. Feminine enbies are valid! It is okay if you do not want to remove your breasts. It is okay if you enjoy your curves. It is okay if you do not mind being called "she" and "her". That does not make you any less transgender. -->

然後你會遇到人們認為非二元性別就是中性，而中性就是不那麼女性化。女性化的非二元性別者是合理的！如果你不想切除乳房，沒關係。如果你喜歡你的曲線，沒關係。如果你不介意被稱為「她」，沒關係。這並不會讓你變得不那麼跨性別。

<!-- If you feel like you are not a binary woman, than you are not a binary woman. Cis women do not experience that detachment. -->

如果你覺得自己不是二元性別女性，那麼你就不是二元性別女性。順性別女性不會經歷這種疏離感。

<!-- ### Toxic Masculinity -->

### 有毒的男子氣概 (Toxic Masculinity)

<!-- Male-assigned kids grow up positively drenched in messaging of what it is to "be a man". There are so few examples of positive masculinity in popular media, and AMAB masculine enbies are also so commonly erased in trans representation that being a genderqueer male can feel very lonely. AMAB enbies are often either grouped in with gay cis men or treated like trans women. -->

被指定為男性的孩子在成長過程中，會被灌輸關於「成為男人」的訊息。在大眾媒體中，積極的男性氣概的例子很少，而且在跨性別者的代表中，出生時指定性別為男性的男性非二元性別者也經常被抹去，因此身為一個性別酷兒男性會感到非常孤獨。出生時指定性別為男性的非二元性別者通常要麼與順性別男同性戀者歸為一類，要麼被當作跨性別女性對待。

<!-- You can just be genderqueer! Your identity is valid! -->

你可以只是性別酷兒！你的認同是合理的！

<!-- ### Transmedicalism -->

### 跨性別醫療主義 (Transmedicalism)

<!-- This one hits *everybody*. Transmedicalism (aka Truetrans) is a transgender ideology derived from the Harry Benjamin scale (ranks 5 and 6). It seeks to reinforce the pre-WPATH rules, requiring intense physical dysphoria, demanding medical transition, and often invalidating all non-binary identities. At its core, transmedicalism is a supremacist concept, elevating binary trans people above the needs of any other gender identity, and is a push back against the expansion of the transgender identity. They wish for more gatekeeping than we have today, rail against enbies using the transgender label, and would prefer to see fewer people receive treatment for their gender dysphoria. -->

這一條 *每個人* 都會遇到。跨性別醫療主義（又稱真跨(Truetrans)）是一種源自班傑明量表（等級 5 和 6）的跨性別意識形態。它試圖強化 WPATH 之前的規則，要求強烈的生理不安，要求醫療轉變，並且經常否定所有非二元性別身份。從本質上講，跨性別醫療主義是一種至上主義概念，將二元跨性別者的需求凌駕於任何其他性別認同的需求之上，並且是對跨性別身份擴張的反擊。他們希望比現在有更多的把關，反對非二元性別者使用跨性別標籤，並且更願意看到更少的人接受性別不安治療。

<!-- To put it succinctly, many transmedicalists hate that the newer generation "has it so easy," despite the fact that many of their ranks are part of that generation. This ideology started among disgruntled trans elders, but has since spread to other binary individuals, particularly among young trans men. -->

簡而言之，許多跨性別醫療主義者憎恨新一代人「如此輕鬆」，儘管事實上他們中的許多人都是那一代人。這種意識形態始於心懷不滿的跨性別長者，但後來傳播到其他二元性別者，尤其是在年輕的跨性別男性中。

<!-- If a trans person's first exposure to transness is a transmedicalist, this can severely set back their own self-acceptance and push them even further into the closet. Transmeds are well known to actually tell people "No, you are not trans." -->

如果一個跨性別者第一次接觸跨性別是跨性別醫療主義者，這會嚴重阻礙他們自我接納，並將他們推向更深的櫃中。眾所周知，跨性別醫療主義者實際上會告訴人們「不，你不是跨」。

<!-- **Do not believe these lies.** They are bully tactics explicitly designed to gaslight and dismiss people's pain for self-gratification. -->

**不要相信這些謊言。** 它們種霸凌策略，專門用來在煽動和消除人們的痛苦以實現自我滿足。。

<!-- There are related hurtful concepts a trans person can internalize, revolving around seeing transition as a list of required actions. One such idea is a belief that a person shouldn't expect being gendered correctly or even complain about misgendering as long as they haven't changed their gender marker. In other words, legally conditioned pronoun respect, or translegalism. Not only can changing gender marker be a complicated, prolonged process, not only can some people not afford to out themselves by pursuing it, but most countries wouldn't even allow a gender marker outside of the gender binary. Translegalism convinces a person that they deserve misgendering because of their ID. -->

跨性別者可能會內化一些相關的有害概念，這些概念圍繞著將轉變視為一系列必要的行動。其中一個觀點是，只要一個人沒有改變其性別標記，就不應該期望被正確地性別化，甚至不應該抱怨被錯誤地性別化。換句話說，合法條件下的代名詞尊稱，或跨性別合法主義。改變性別標記不僅可能是一個複雜、漫長的過程，不僅有些人無法透過這樣做來公開自己，而且大多數國家甚至不允許二元性別以外的性別標記。跨性別合法主義使人相信，由於他們的身分證，他們應該被錯誤地性別化。

<!-- ### Trans-Exclusionary Reactionary Feminism / Gender Critical Movement / Gender Essentialism -->

### 排斥跨性別者的反動女性主義(TERF)/性別批判運動/性別本質主義

<!-- [Gender Essentialism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_essentialism) is the belief that there are innate attributes to a person's existence that are derived based on what sex organs the person is born with. TERF and GC ideology was born out of the lesbian separatist movement of second wave feminism and fully denies the existence of transgender biology and non-binary identities. The movement has been largely overtaken by right-wing reactionaries, racists, and homophobes, and is now being bolstered by evangelical Christian organizations. -->

[性別本質主義](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_essentialism)認為，一個人的存在有基於其出生時性器官的先天屬性。TERF 和 GC 意識形態起源於第二波女性主義的女同性戀分離主義運動，完全否認跨性別生物學和非二元性別身份的存在。該運動很大程度上已被右翼反動分子、種族主義者和恐同者所佔領，現在正得到福音派基督教組織的支持。

<!-- These people will stop at nothing to invalidate your existence. Do not give them the time of day. -->

這些人會不擇手段地否定你的存在。不要浪費時間在他們身上。

<!-- ### Gender Abolitionism / Postgenderism -->

### 性別廢除主義 (Gender Abolitionism)/後性別主義 (Postgenderism)

<!-- [Postgenderism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postgenderism) is a [transhumanist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transhumanism) philosophy originating in radical feminism which states that gender causes more harm than good, and seeks to eradicate it from our society. Old-school TERFs latched on to GA as reasoning for why trans people should not exist. This trans-exclusionary faction of gender abolitionism believes that all gender is a construct and that anyone who feels strongly connected to a binary gender is either nefariously propagating gender stereotypes or ignorantly following systemic indoctrination. They do not believe in the existence of gender dysphoria, and will attempt to invalidate those who experience it. -->

[後性別主義](https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%BE%8C%E6%80%A7%E5%88%A5%E4%B8%BB%E7%BE%A9)是一種起源於激進女性主義的[超人類主義](https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E8%B6%85%E4%BA%BA%E7%B1%BB%E4%B8%BB%E4%B9%89)哲學，它聲稱性別弊大於利，並試圖將其從我們的社會中消除。老派的 TERF 堅持 GA 作為跨性別者不應該存在的原因。這種排斥跨性別者的性別廢除主義派別認為，所有性別都是一種建構，任何強烈認同二元性別的人要麼是惡意地宣傳性別刻板印象，要麼是愚昧地遵循系統性灌輸。他們不相信性別不安的存在，並會試圖否定那些經歷過性別不安的人。

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請注意，這 *不是* 關於認同為後性別主義者的跨性別者或整個性別廢除主義。這專門針對 TERF 對這些概念的濫用。