GenderDysphoria.fyi/public/tw/existential-dysphoria.md

---
date: "2020-01-26T20:41:55.827Z"
lang: "tw"
title: "性別不安的體現: 存在不安"
linkTitle: "存在不安"
description: "我不後悔我做過的事；我後悔的是那些我機會但是卻沒去做的事。"
classes:
  - gdb
preBody: '_disclaimer'
siblings:
  prev: /tw/presentational-dysphoria
  prevCaption: 表現不安
  next: /tw/managed-dysphoria
  nextCaption: 應付不安
---

<!-- # Existential Dysphoria -->

# 存在不安

<!-- When you grow up as the wrong assigned gender, you are going to miss out on a lot of things that should have been available to you if only people had known. Sleepovers, camping trips, girl/boy scouts, shopping trips, cheerleading or sports. Events that are co-ed may have very different feelings attached to them based on how you engage with them, like going to prom, religious ceremonies (such as having a bat mitzvah instead of a bar mitzvah), and even just the act of courtship. This dysphoria may also be biological in origin, such as a sorrow over having not given birth to or breastfed your children. -->

當你以錯誤的指定性別成長時，你將會錯過很多事情，如果人們早知道的話，這些事情本應是你可以擁有的。例如，過夜派對、露營旅行、女童/男童軍、購物之旅、啦啦隊或體育運動。男女同校的活動可能會有截然不同的感受，這取決於你如何參與其中，例如參加畢業舞會、宗教儀式（例如舉行成年禮），甚至只是求愛行為。這種不安也可能源於生理因素，例如對沒有生育或哺乳自己的孩子感到悲傷。

<!-- These missed opportunities can manifest as feelings of loss and hurt. Furthermore, the memories of things you *did* have access to but wouldn't have otherwise, or events that were performed in the wrong gender, can also be a sour point, as these may have awkward attachments. Imagine having to be a groom at your wedding when you know you should have been a bride; growing up dreaming about your perfect wedding, and then playing the wrong role in it. -->

這些錯過的機會可能表現為失落感和痛苦感。此外，你 *確實* 經歷過但本來不應該經歷的事情的記憶，或以錯誤的性別進行的事件，也可能是一個痛點，因為這些事情可能帶有不愉快的聯想。想像一下，當你知道自己應該成為新娘時，卻不得不在你的婚禮上扮演新郎；從小就夢想著你完美的婚禮，然後卻在婚禮上扮演了錯誤的角色。

<!-- Sometimes existential dysphoria can manifest existentially, hitting you with all the grief of the youth lost. All the dating, the teenage antics, the parties, even just having been able to be sexual with the correct parts while your body was young and you had no responsibilities. It is time that can never be gained back. -->

有時，存在不安會以存在主義的方式表現出來，讓你感受到失去青春的所有悲傷。所有的約會、青少年時期的滑稽行為、派對，甚至只是在你年輕、沒有責任的時候能夠用正確的身體部位體驗性愛。這是永遠無法挽回的時間。

<!-- Many trans people attempt to recapture some of these lost events, hosting or attending queer proms, organizing sleepovers, performing vow renewals with their spouses, and engaging in common puberty rites of passage like having a mother figure help them shop for their first bra, or having a father figure teach them to shave. However, ultimately, existential dysphoria is something that can never be relieved. You can make new experiences to replace the ones you lost, but you can never turn back the clock. -->

許多跨性別者試圖重溫這些失去的事件，例如舉辦或參加酷兒畢業舞會、組織過夜派對、與配偶舉行婚禮誓言更新儀式，以及參與常見的青春期儀式，例如讓一位母親形象的人幫助他們購買第一件胸罩，或者讓一位父親形象的人教他們刮鬍子。然而，最終，存在性不安是永遠無法消除的。你可以創造新的體驗來取代你失去的體驗，但你永遠無法讓時光倒流。

<!-- This is one of many reasons why affirming trans youth is so important. Boys want to do common boy things, girls want to do common girl things, and non-binary children want to do whatever feels correct to them, and when they miss out they will not forget. -->

這就是肯定跨性別青少年如此重要的諸多原因之一。男孩想做常見的男孩做的事情，女孩想做常見的女孩做的事情，非二元性別兒童想做任何他們覺得正確的事情，當他們錯過這些事情時，他們不會忘記。